What's happening?

Everyone is getting MARRIED! It was such a stir of emotions when I saw Libby and Tad got married. It's even more strange that this is the couple that has made me feel so damn old.

I met Libby my freshman year, we lived on the same floor. Without introducing herself, she gave me a hug, as I was walking back to my room from saying good-bye to my parents. I wonder if she knew I had been crying (I was wearing sunglasses). I also met Tad my very first night at Iowa State. I remember him describing himself as a "hard core Christian". He was friends with Danielle... a total opposite of him. I wasn't especially close with Libby, but I can say, with confidence, that I've watched her develop through out her time at Iowa State.

I think I'm so taken by this particular marriage (as opposed to Sarah & Brad or Jayleen & Fab) because we all started in the same place- literally. I've observed them both over the years, Libby more so than Tad, and observed them as they eventually found each other. It may be a bit difficult to take in because, from and outsider's perspective, it all seems so effortless, classic and, well, perfect. It's all pretty Libby-style. =)

Moreover, this time, this particular week, seems like such a milestone. It was four years ago that I met these two people, who eventually met each other and have now committed to each other for life. Even more- I'm still here!! Even if for just one extra semester, I feel like I shouldn't be. By "here", I mean Iowa State, but by "here", I also mean this resident complex. I'm still, after four years, surrounded by freshman, fresh faces and newness- although it's not new to me. I can appreciate that they all have excitement and experiences awaiting them, but I can't help but think that I have loose ends to tie up, good-byes to say and my own newness I need to find, secure and experience.

I'm riding a roller coaster this year. I'm glad to see Iowa State again, glad to connect with people again, to do my "thing" knowing the ropes again (peace out UClan) and living the student life with more knowledge and privilege than I started with 4ever ago. And then I look ahead and I see the people I started with. Jealous that they "soared in four", or really, just graduated in proper time. I feel like I'm a late bloomer, while I watch so many of my peers plunging into adulthood, but I feel old old old-- like I'm lingering and stretching my allotted time for this chapter of life. I should really stop saying and thinking that I'm old and just be in the moment, I'll try to get it all out now... I FEEEL SOOOOOOOOOO FUUUU----CCKINGGGGG OOOOOLD!!!! Yes, caps, fucking and exclamation points were all necessary. How strange is it that I'm looking at adulthood as though I'm not a part of it, yet I feel old?

Alas, I am who I am, I've done what I've done and I'll be where I'm taken. So- here's to where I'm at, a fabulous final semester, my own future and everyone who's tied the knot- especially Libby & Tad.